


Long Sleeves

by barlowbarlow (orphan_account)



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Abuse, Evan gets abused :(, Everybody Lives, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I don't know much about this I'm sorry, I will try my best to make this realistic, I'm not good at writing tagsd, Jealousy, Kleinsen, M/M, Pining, Protective Jared, Violence, admitting feelings, alana and Zoe are low-key gay for each other, angst but it gets happier I promise, ben and jerry's, connor lived, gay lol, highschool, kinda slow, kleinsen angst, kleinsen fluff, mentions of suicide/self harm, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:00:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13990983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/barlowbarlow
Summary: Evan was wearing long sleeves again. No big deal, right? Except it was. Because Evan hated long sleeves. He thought they made him look chubby. Of course, Jared though he looked fucking fantastic either way. But that wasn't the point. Evan had been wearing long sleeves all week. The whole week. It wasn't normal. He had been quiet, too. Well, quieter than his usual quiet. He had flinched whenever Jared walked up behind him without announcing himself first. Evan had even postponed their plans twice. He had a sneaking suspicion that something was up, but he needed to talk to someone else before confronting Evan. Jared was usually very impulsive, but he didn't want to send him into a panic attack, so he made a plan to catch Zoe, Connor, and Alana alone. This was easier said than done, because Evan was always around one of the three, but after some texting and glances across the hall they found each other. Evan had left as soon as school ended, with his boyfriend.(In other words, Evan's in an abusive relationship and his friends intervene.)





	1. Sneaking suspicion

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So BIG TRIGGER WARNING for this story- there are mentions of self harm, mentions of a suicide attempt, violence (a little) and an explicitly abusive relationship. Please don't read if that upsets you!! There are plenty of wonderful kleinsen fics out there!! Also quick notice- I've never directly experienced any domestic abuse (thank god) and so I can't say this will be super realistic. I promise I will try the best I can to make this honest and make sure everyone knows there is NOTHING that should be romanticized about this topic. I love you all!!  
> xxx

Evan was wearing long sleeves again. No big deal, right? Except it was. Because Evan hated long sleeves. He thought they made him look chubby. Of course, Jared though he looked fucking fantastic either way. But that wasn't the point. Evan had been wearing long sleeves all week. _The whole week._ It wasn't normal. He had been quiet, too. Well, quieter than his usual quiet. He had flinched whenever Jared walked up behind him without announcing himself first. Evan had even postponed their plans twice. He had a sneaking suspicion that something was up, but he needed to talk to someone else before confronting Evan. Jared was usually very impulsive, but he didn't want to send him into a panic attack, so he made a plan to catch Zoe, Connor, and Alana alone. This was easier said than done, because Evan was always around one of the three, but after some texting and glances across the hall they found each other. Evan had left as soon as school ended, with his boyfriend.

Jared's stomach churned when he thought about that. _Boyfriend._ Jared HATED Evan's boyfriend, and not just because of his crush on Evan, though he had to admit it didn't help his case at all. No, Liam was an ass. He was aggressive and acted too obnoxious for any of their liking. He was a football player who was almost twice Evan's size, who loved to shout and to show Ev off. Evan said he was sweet when they weren't around.

Liam was Jared's sneaking suspicion.

"Jared. What's up?" Connor asked, slamming the locker next to his and making him jump. "Sorry. Spacing out. Where're the girls?" (He would always lovingly refer to Alana and Zoe as 'the girls' no matter how much they hated it.) "We need to talk somewhere private." Jared finished. Connor's face fell a little. Jared was literally _never_ serious, so when he was it was important. Connor started to answer. "They're on th-" "We're right here." Alana finished, and Jared turned around to see Zoe was in tow. The two had become inseparable. The four students made their way into an empty classroom. They had convinced Connor to give them all a ride home, so they wouldn't need to worry about missing any busses. Connor took a seat on the teachers desk, while Alana and Zoe just leaned against the wall.

Jared got straight to the point as soon as the door shut, pacing as he spoke.

"I'm worried about Evan. Like, really worried. I've known the kid since we were little and I've only seen him wear long sleeves when he _absolutely has to,_ and even then he hates it. I know it's kinda weird, but it's true. He literally fucking hates them. Then he goes and wears them everyday this week! Not to mention how, like, skittish he's been..." Jared's voice trailed off as he finished, looking around. "So what exactly are you suggesting, Jared?" Connor asked quietly. Jared noticed him stealing a glance at his arms, there were scars there. Jared knew what he was thinking. "I don't think he's...... y'know.... hurting himself, per say....." Jared coughed awkwardly, he wasn't great at talking about these things. "But I think someone's hurting him. Specifically, Liam."

"Not to be rude, Jared, but are you sure it's not because you're jealous of him? I mean, I think Evan is okay. I don't want you to freak him out." Zoe said gingerly, trying to sound reassuring. They all knew about Jared's feelings towards Evan. Jared gulped and opened his mouth to say something, but Alana spoke up first. "Actually, I've been noticing it too. Every time I tap his shoulder he freezes up. And he last minute canceled our study session at my house last night." Connor and Zoe exchanged a wide eyed glance as they remembered simultaneously. Connor explained. "We were gonna take him out to the orchard after school on Friday but he never showed up at the car." Jared adjusted his glasses, fidgeting. "See?! He never cancels. He loves the orchard. And he loves studying with Alana." Jared said, glancing between their faces. "If ...something.... is happening... with Liam..... how long do you think it's been going on?" Zoe asked timidly, her voice laced with worry. "I don't know, but if he hurts Evan, I'm gonna beat Liam's ass into the ground." Connor grumbled, staring at the floor. "Let's talk to him about it tomorrow, when Liam isn't around." Alana said, trying to mask the concern in her voice with a formal tone. It didn't work.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Sorry guys, I don't know-"

Jared was cut off as the janitor swung open the door and told them they needed to go home, that the classroom was off limits after hours. They shuffled out and Connor flipped the janitor off on the way out.

The ride was silent.

Evan wasn't at school the next day. Or the day after that. He wasn't answering his texts either. Jared tried to focus, but it was useless. He ended up staring at the back of every teachers head as they wrote on the board, their words never reaching his ears. All he could think about was Evan. Evan Evan Evan. Not that he didn't daydream about Evan pretty often anyway, but it was worse this time. A lot worse. He knew he shouldn't be so panicked. Everything could be fine. But he panicked anyway. When Jared sat down at lunch, he was met with the same worried glances and knew they were all thinking the same thing.

"Where is Evan? He hasn't been answering my texts. Even if he was sick he would answer me." Alana demanded right away, her voice fast and nervous. "Me neither." Connor mumbled. Jared had never seen him look so... unsure. And small. He felt the same way. After a few beats of silence, Jared cleared his throat and announced "I'm going to his house after school. I'll check on him." Zoe opened her mouth to protest, to say it was too much, that it was probably nothing, but shut it again. They didn't have any other options.

As soon as the final bell rang, Jared raced to his locker and shoved all of his extra books in. He was about to start on his way when he felt a hand on his arm. He whipped around in annoyance but softened as soon as he registered that it was Alana. "Be careful, Jared. Don't say anything that'll make him panic, be gentle. And..." she suddenly looked on the verge of tears, "tell him I said hi." 

Jared nodded at her before they both parted ways, Jared more frantic than before. Of course, in his frantic running, he ran square into the chest of none other than Liam himself. Jared gulped as he looked up at Liam, trying to scramble away, but he was stopped by a strong hand. He recoiled from the touch but stopped anyway. Liam started talking. "Hey twink. You're one of Ev's little friends, right? Right, well, where the fuck is he? He hasn't been answering my calls." The tone in Liam’s voice made Jared want to vomit. _He called him Ev._ "That's none of your business." Jared mumbled, trying to walk away. Liam grabbed his arm again. "Uh, I'm his boyfriend. Of course it's my business." Jared ripped his am out of Liams grasp, glaring at him and walking away without another word.

He was still fuming when he reached Evan's front door, but he reminded himself of why he was really there. Heidi opened the door, smiling brightly at him. "Hey Jared! Come in!" She said, and he followed her inside. He was very familiar with the house as he walked in, dropping his backpack in the mudroom. "Hi Ms.Hansen." He said, as politely as he could. "Evan!! You have a visitor!" She called up the stairs. Jared was almost surprised to hear a muffled voice coming from above. "Tell them to go away." Jared flinched a little. That hurt. It wasn't like Evan at all.

"Honey, it's Jared."

There was a moment of silence before a sleepy looking Evan appeared at the top of the stairs, wrapped in an blanket, covering the side of his face. _Adorable_ he though, but he didn't stare like he wanted to. Jared walked up to meet him, and followed Evan back into his room. They sat on his bed, and before the silence got too awkward, Jared decided to ease into why he came. "Alana says hi. And everyone else. They're kinda worried about you." _Ev_ he wanted to add, but he didn't. Evan just stared at his lap, still covering the side of his face. "Why aren't you at school?" He asked as gently as he could, out of character for him. Evan paused for a moment more, before saying "I- I've just been sick." His voice was shaky and unsure. Jared had to fight back a snort of laughter at that, as inappropriate as it was. He was just _such_ a bad liar. "Evan, that's not true, I know you too well." Jared said, and the other boy was about to respond when his hand slipped just a little. Enough for Jared to see the bruise that he was covering. His eyes widened.

"What's that?"

"It's nothing."

"Evan. Please. What is that?"

"It's nothing, Jared, just leave me alone." Evan mumbled, turning away.

Jared got up and closed the door, Evan shot him a confused glance.

"Evan! I've been so fucking worried!" He began to pace as he spoke, and Evan opened his mouth to say something, but Jared continued.

"You've shown up to school in _long sleeves_ for the last week! You fucking hate long sleeves! And you cancelled on all of us, like, at least once! You've been disappearing after school every day! I really just wanna help you, Evan!" He finished, breathing hard, face flushed with a mix of emotions. When he looked back at Evan, he was crying. And he had moved his hand, revealing a colorful bruise around his eye.

Jared swore he could feel his heart break right there.

He practically lept to Evan, wrapping an arm gingerly (and very stiffly) over his shoulder. Evan flinched at first but when Jared tried to pull his hand away, Evan pulled it back around him. "Hey, Hey. It's ok. It's gonna be ok." He mumbled in his awkward glory, examining the colorful bruise that spread across his eye and part of his cheek. He wasn't good at this. "Has your..... mom seen it?" He asked, and Evan nodded. "Told her it was a bully." "Was it....?" Jared struggled to finish his question, but before he could, Evan mumbled. "L-Liam." His voice broke on the name and he was sent into a new fit of sobs.  Jared ran a hand through his own hair frantically. His blood positively boiled, but he needed to be here for Evan right now. And didn't know how. He quieted Evan as best he could, rubbing his back in desperate attempts to make him feel better. "He says-" _sniffle_ "That I spend too much time with you guys." _sniffle_ "and that he is the reason I'm not getting-" _sniffle_ "bullied. No one else is gonna love me like he does, Jared."

Jared wanted to kill Liam, to state it plainly. He was so angry, so _fucking mad._ And hurt. He squeezed Evan tighter. "That's not true. Evan." Evan met his gaze, tears still falling. "That's- it's not true. We're your friends, you're allowed to spend as much time as you want with us. You're getting hurt _,_ Evan. He isn't protecting you. And Fuck, Evan-" He looked in the other direction. "There are always people who will love you, more than he ever can." He didn't care if he sounded like a cheesy fucking fool. He didn't even care about anything but the boy in front of him.

Evan shook with his sobs now, clinging to Jared like he was the only person alive

"What do I do?" He choked out, his face now pressed into the shoulder of the boy in front of him. "Well..... first of all, you could...... break up with him-" he felt Evan tense up at that so he scrambled to explain. "-Don't freak out. I know it sounds scary but we'll all help, I'll be with you the whole time. Or better yet, I could do it for you. Either way, we won't let him hurt you again. Ever." He finished, satisfied with The fact that Evan had now calmed to an occasional sniffle. "And I know you like him. But this isn't ok." Evan sat up, nodding and wiping his eyes. After a few moments of quiet, broken only by Evan's sniffles, Jared asked a question gingerly, as not to set off a fresh round of crying. "Can I see your arms?" He nodded weakly in response before looking away. Jared took hold of Evan's arm gently and glanced at him again, just to check. Evan wouldn't meet his eyes. He sighed before pulling back the sleeve of the blue sweatshirt the boy was wearing. Jared inhaled sharply at the sight in front of him. Evan's arm had bruises scattered all over it, it looked like he had been grabbed roughly. Jared ran his fingers over them lightly, making sure not to press on any. Evan looked a little flustered at this but Jared didn't notice. He was too busy thinking about all the ways he could kill Liam. He tugged the sleeve back down before exhaling. _Stay calm, Jared._ He looked at Evan again, who was looking much better than before. There was a shift, his cheeks were flushed from something other than tears. Jared couldn't pinpoint it. _Is it me? Did I embarrass him by doing that? Was it weird?_ Jared looked away, ignoring the feeling in his stomach. This was about Evan, about helping Evan. "Listen, Ev, I gotta go soon, but we'll all walk you to school tomorrow. If you're up for it." Jared said, standing up. Evan felt a little twinge of guilt when he saw the wet spot his tears had made on Jared's t-shirt. "Oh- ok. That would be nice." He mumbled, staring into his lap. Jared was almost at the door when he turned around, running back to Evan, who had stood up by then as well. The taller of the two let out a surprised noise as he felt Jared's arms wrap around him, tight. Time was frozen for a second, two boys clinging to each other like scared little kids. Then just like that the arms were gone, and he was too.

When Jared got home, he fell back onto his bed with a sigh. He wanted some time to cool off, but he knew he needed to tell his friends what had happened first.

He picked up his phone and shot a text to each of them, explaining that Evan was ok but what they had guessed was happening...... was happening. And that they would be walking with him to school the next day. And possibly helping him break up with Liam? He groaned after he sent it, taking his glasses off and putting them on his bedside table, then his phone.

A nap couldn't hurt.

Suddenly, he was back at school in the abandoned classroom, and Evan was there. Except he wasn't crying and all of his bruises were gone, he had on short sleeves. And, most striking if all, he was smiling wide. _Cute_ . Jared reached for his hand but he walked away, heading for the door. So Kleinman followed. And somehow they were suddenly in Evan's room, with his blue sheets and his laptop. Evan was pushing Jared onto the bed, running his hands over his body, smiling and smiling. It felt so warm and nice and _real_ . Jared's stomach fluttered. Just as Evan leaned in to kiss him, Jared noticed that he still had a cast on, but the only signature was LIAM in big letters. Suddenly he looked back up and Evan's face was all sad. _No._ He was so sad, he was backing away, and Jared reached for him but it was like grabbing at clouds. The walls were closing in and Evan was gone for good and Evan loved Liam and he hated himself so much and he still had a fucking _crush_ on him and-

Jared shot up bed, breathing hard. He wiped sweat from his forehead with his sheets. _It's just a dream. It's just a dream._ He thought over and over, just trying to calm down. It was still mid-afternoon, thank god, and there was light streaming through his blinds. He got up with shaky knees and walked to his bathroom, where he splashed water in his face. _Calm down Jared. It was just a dream. It was just a dream._ He thought again, but his hands shook anyway.


	2. ben and jerry's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan confronts Liam at school, and everyone goes out for ice-cream. (Jared goes home with Evan after, to 'do homework')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!!! Ok, trigger warning for this chapter too- same as the last one. This is pretty angsty but I promise it gets better as you keep going. Love you all!!  
> (also there will be one more chapter after this!)  
> xxx

The next morning, when he arrived at Evan's, all four of his friends were already outside waiting for him. "Jared, you're going to make us tardy!" Alana complained as everyone greeted him. Jared just snorted, before stealing a quick glance at Evan. He was wearing long sleeves, again, but he wasn't covering his eye. The bruise had faded just a little, but it was still obvious. Zoe, Connor and Alana were pretending everything was normal, bantering back and forth, teasing each other. They were extra gentle with Ev, though, and that at least made Jared smile. _When did I get so soft?_

After a few minutes of walking, Evan started to hang behind the group a little with Jared, meeting his pace. The boys slowed their steps so that they would be out of earshot of the others, who again, to Jared's relief, pretend not to notice. "Thanks, Jared. For all of this." Evan mumbled, and Jared didn't know what to do. His brain was saying  _ tell a joke, say something dumb, don't be fucking cheesy  _ but he couldn't. He just walked quietly for a minute before nodding. "No- no problem." He stuttered, punching himself internally for sounding so nervous. What Evan did next was not what he expected. He reached a hand out and grabbed Kleinman's own for a moment, giving it a quick squeeze that sent electricity straight up his arm and into his chest.  _ God, Jared. He doesn't like you that way! He's just thanking you for helping him! Stop being gross!  _ Still, Jared squeezed back before dropping Evan's hand and looking away. They caught up with the group and continued on their way.

When they finally arrived at school, Jared could tell people were staring at Evan, or more specifically, his eye. Evan was gazing at the ground with determination, avoiding any eye contact at all. Jared's chest felt tight again, and he really wanted to hurt Liam. He was so focused on the boy beside him he didn't even notice when Connor was shoved. "Don't touch me!" The tall boy shouted, and Evan grabbed Jared's hand in panic when he saw who had shoved him in the first place. Of-fucking-course, Liam was standing there, fuming. Connor balled his fists and was getting ready to throw a punch when Zoe placed a hand in front of him, signaling to him that it wasn't worth it. Connor stopped but his eyes were still burning with anger.  Liam laughed and started talking in a mocking tone. "Why don't you fight back, huh? Too  _ broken _ ? Y'know I heard you tried to kill yours- " 

_ Smack _ . 

Zoe could take a lot, but talking about  _ that _ was so completely wrong. Liam was doubled over temporarily, clutching the side of his face as a nice red handprint appeared. Zoe looked down at her hand, with an expression like she was as shocked as everyone else. He straightened back up, getting ready to fight, but before he could he locked eyes with Evan. His expression changed. It melted "Ev! Evan! Where have you been? I've been so fucking worried!" 

This really got Jared mad. This boy acting like he hadn't caused the fucking  _ black eye _ he was sporting. He pushed past Alana and the Murphy's. As he approached he saw Evan's hand in Jared's. "Let go of my boyfriend." He demanded, and Jared opened his mouth to fight, but Evan gave his hand another squeeze before he started talking. 

"Listen, Liam, I just-I think we need-" "No, Evan. I told you these kids were bad news. I'm sorry I let this get out of hand. Let's just go and we don't have to worry about it anymore." He reached for Evan's hand as he turned around dismissively, ready to leave. Evan didn't budge, he wouldn't let go of Jared. "I told you to let go of my boyfriend, weirdo." Liam growled, tugging at Evan so hard he almost tripped into him. "He's my friend." Jared said, his tone quiet but icy. "Really? Well he is my goddamn  _ boyfriend _ and you've been hiding my  _ boyfriend  _ from me for two days." Liam hissed, before he turned to start walking again, practically dragging Evan by his wrist behind him. "Forget him. Let’s get out of here." Liam mumbled, and Evan looked back helplessly at his friends. He looked so scared and so  _ small _ . 

Jared snapped. "Do you even know why he's been hiding at home for two days? Do you? It's because you gave him a fucking black eye, you dick! Do you know how shitty that is? How shitty it is to make someone feel like- l-like no one will love them except you?" Jared shouted, nearly in tears. Jared was an angry crier. And right now he was  _ so fucking mad _ . He stood as tall as he could, his chest rising and falling and his hands balled into fists. A tense silence fell over the hallway, where a small crowd had gathered, but Jared didn't regret what he said. He meant  _ every word _ and more. Liam stopped in his tracks, and Evan whimpered as the grip on his wrist tightened. " _ What the fuck did you just say to me? _ " He asked, dangerously quiet, before turning around, rage burning in his eyes. "Are you saying I hurt _my_ Ev?" He asked, and Jared nearly went fucking mental. He was blatantly lying, making himself look stupid, and calling Evan 'his Ev'. Before Jared could even get words out through his fury, Liam continued. "It's probably your fault he looks like this. I mean, he didn't have this last time I saw him, and you're the only one who's seen him for the past-" 

"What the fuck are you-"

"You're the one th-"

"Shut the fuck up you-"

"STOP!" Evan suddenly shouted, and they both froze. He ripped his hand out of Liam's and stepped between the two, facing Liam. Jared dropped his stance. It was Evan's turn. He took a deep breath before he started talking. "Liam, listen to me. I r-really didn't want to do this in front of everyone, but it can't wait." Liam looks puzzled, and worried.  "We need to... We need to b-break up." A new stunned silence filled the room, and Liam’s angry expression dropped. He wore a look of disbelief. "What are y-" "Just let me finish." Evan begged. "You hit me and hurt me and I trusted you, Liam. I liked you and you took advantage of me. You made fun of Connor and Jared and Zoe and-" He looked at the ground, choking back his tears. "I'm sorry, Liam. I like you. But I c-can't keep this up.." He whispered the last bit, wiping his eye with the edge of his sleeve. Liam stood gaping for a moment, thick silence filling the hall, before he spoke again, his voice much quieter, more frantic. "Ev, what are you talking about? That never happened. You're- you're making a mistake." He mumbled, reaching forward for Evan's hand, but it was pulled away. "But what about- don't you- remember that night at my house, after the movies?! You love me, Ev, you said-" He kept walking forward and Evan kept walking back. Evan, panicking, reached behind him, taking Jared's hand. "I can't, Liam." He said, his eyes filling with fresh tears and his face going red. He tried to say something else but just whimpered. He broke down and turned away, running to to Alana, who wrapped her arms around him immediately, shocked. Jared's heart dropped . Liam turned to him, with a face full of heartbreak.  _ Serves him fucking right. _ His expression quickly changed to one of unbridled anger. "You!" He spat, stalking closer to Jared. The football player was twice his size but Jared stood his ground, staring him in the eyes with no trace of the fear in his chest. "This is your fault. You fucking put him up to this! We were just fine before you came along!" He growled, now looming over him. "News flash, dickhead, I was friends with Evan long before you met him. And you weren't 'just fine', you were- you were fucking  _ abusing _ him!" Jared shouted, his voice raising an octave at the last few words. He was met with a fist on his collar, Liam pulling him up by the front of his shirt. 

"Shut the fuck up before I-" 

"Before you what? Give me a black eye too? Because that just proves my-"

_ Crack. _

Jared was suddenly on the ground, clutching his nose and cursing at Liam through broken glasses. Liam raised his fist to punch again, but someone shouted "teacher!" and he turned around. Jared scrambled to his feet, and Liam shot him a burning look that said  _ this isn't over,  _ before he walked away. Jared ignored this and turned to Evan, who looked incredibly shaken. He ran over to Jared and grabbed his face, examining his nose and his shattered glasses. Despite the blood dripping down his shirt from his nose, and his obstructed vision, Kleinman's heart hammered in his chest. "I'm so sorry Jared." He mumbled, but it came out as more of a whimper. Jared hugged Evan tight, letting him cry into his shoulder. "Don't worry about me. I'm proud of you." Jared said quietly, so that only Evan would hear.

They both suddenly seemed to remember that they were standing in a crowded hallway, so they pulled apart, Jared coughing awkwardly and Evan wiping his eyes. "Jared, go the nurse! What if your nose is broken? And your glasses! Oh my god!" Alana began, and Jared rolled his eyes. Evan let out a little giggle through his tears at that, the first time he had laughed in days. Jared felt his heart swell and he watched Zoe exchange a glance with her brother. "We're already late for class, but maybe we could get... ice-cream together after school?" Zoe suggested, tentatively, as she grabbed her discarded backpack off of the ground. She looked shaken, as did Connor, but the day wasn't going to slow down for them. "Sounds good." Evan said, his voice still a little wobbly. Alana nodded at Zoe before giving Evan's arm a squeeze and then bustling off to her first period class. Zoe followed with a smile, rolling her eyes at Alana's obsessive punctuality. Connor turned to walk away too, looking back at Evan once more before leaving. He still looked mad. 

This left just Jared and Evan, alone, together. Evan took a deep breath before he started to talk. "Jared? I was thinking- I mean- if you want- we could, uh, we could hang out at my house... to, like, do homework...  after we get ice-cream..... maybe.... Just us." He stuttered out, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the floor. Jared's nose was still throbbing, but it had stopped bleeding, until he nodded a little too enthusiastically. "Yeah! I'd, uh- I'd really like that." Jared said. His voice was so embarrassingly soft, not the way he usually talked. But if he was honest with himself, would embarrass himself ten times over for the boy in front of him. Evan's head snapped up at the response. "Really? uh, ok, good. I'll- I'll see you then." They tried to walk away but they bumped into each other awkwardly, resulting in an even more awkward laugh from each boy as they proceeded to walk down the hall quickly, respectively cursing themselves for the interaction. Something had shifted. Why would you suddenly be so awkward with one of your closest friends? Jared was giddy. And nervous. They'd hung out alone a couple times before, but it never made him feel.... like this. He wondered if Evan's hands were sweaty like they got that one time with Zoe. 

They all managed to avoid Liam for the rest of the day, ducking into bathrooms and jumping behind doors when they needed to, and by the end of the day they were relieved to get in Connor's car. "Ok, kids. Does Ben' n Jerry's sound good?" He shot a glance in the rear view mirror, mostly to check on Evan. He was doing better. Still anxious, but he was always anxious. There was a resounding 'Yes!' in response, and Zoe added, "but don't call us kids, you're only, like, two years older.". He chuckled. "Off we go then-" He cracked a grin he pulled out of the parking lot, "-Kids."

Ben and Jerry's was delicious and lovely. They were able to be normal and stupid again, even if just for an hour. Jared was happy that dripping ice cream was the only thing Evan had to worry about. Zoe and Alana had shared two scoops of chocolate, Connor had gotten some sort of massive Rocky Road sundae, Jared had rainbow sorbet, and Evan got what he always did- mint chocolate chip. Even if Jared kept telling him it tasted like frozen toothpaste. "Have you ever even brushed your teeth?" Alana said with a laugh, before taking another but spoonful of her own ice cream. Zoe was gazing at her with a smile. Evan reached over and took Jared's glasses from his face , examining the cracked glass with furrowed brows.  "Don't worry about it, Ev. Hey, It's a fashion statement! Everyone's gonna start breaking their glasses. Alana's totally gonna show up t-" "Shut up Jared." Alana said, rolling her eyes at his dumb attempts to make Evan laugh, but grinning anyway. Even Evan cracked a smile,(mission accomplished!) before getting up to go to the bathroom. He placed his hand very briefly on Jared's shoulder as he stood up, subconsciously causing Jared's stomach to flip. As soon as Evan disappeared, Zoe turned to Jared with a smirk. Jared rolled his eyes, but he felt his face heating up. "I don't wanna hear it, Murphy." He said, but he was smiling. "You called him  _ Ev.  _ You should have seen his face." "I told you I don't wanna hear it!" He said, giving her a playful shove. Secretly, he was giddy to hear that Evan had some sort of reaction too. Alana chimed in, "And he's single now. Perfect time to-" "Shut upppp. oh my god. Nothing's gonna happen. He doesn't like me that way, we've established this." He buried his face in his hands, and Connor chuckled. "No, we really haven't. Where are you going after we finish the ice cream?" He asked, which made Jared blush more. After a moment he mumbled ".......Evan's house. For homework!" "Awwww, Jared's-" Zoe started in a mocking tone, but she was interrupted. "Zoe, I really wouldn't be talking if I were you." Zoe raised her eyebrows at him. "You're the one who's been  _ ogling  _ at Alana for, like, an hour." A flustered Zoe opened her mouth to protest, but Evan was coming back. So she shut up, both her and Alana glaring at Jared across the table. Evan glanced between them all with a little concern. "Wh- did I miss something?" He asked tentatively, sitting back beside Jared. "Nothing. Just Jared being an ass." Connor said, earning laughter from the girls and Jared rolling his eyes  _ yet again  _ and saying nothing. 

They sat like that for a while, smiling and bantering and poking fun at each other (mostly Jared), just enjoying how normal it felt after a shitty day. After a while, the ice cream was gone and Zoe was looking down at her watch and saying she better get going, dragging Connor and Alana, who was going home with her. Jared and Evan stood up too, emptying their cups into the trash and heading down the street to turn into Evan's neighborhood, walking slowly on the sunny sidewalk. "Today wasn't even an awful day." Evan mumbled, staring up at a big pine tree as they passed it. Jared smiled at that. "It really wasn't." He replied, watching the tree-filtered sunlight fall over Evan's face, making his eyes look golden. Jared had to look away because there was a tug in his stomach. He tried to think of something funny to say, and for the third time today he couldn't. Fucking Evan. "What kind of tree is that?" Jared asked, pointing across the road, and wanted to slap himself.  _ Really? Trees? What the fuck, Jared? _ But Evan looked happy to talk about it. Which made Jared happy, and he felt like a fucking sap. "Oh! It's a dogwood!" Evan said, and he was grinning. Jared spent the rest of the walk home asking Evan about every tree they passed, just to keep him grinning like that. At one point Evan went off on a little ramble about oak trees, and Jared caught himself staring. "-s-Sorry. That was annoying." He mumbled, suddenly looking down, embarrassed. "No it wasn't. I like hearing about your weird acorn fetish." Jared said it with a snort of laughter, but he meant it. Evan blushed and laughed too- he'd gotten used to Jared's weird-ass remarks, but he still got flustered every time.  Finally, they reached Evan's house. Heidi wasn't home, and she wouldn't be home until late that night. Jared tried to ignore the way his body felt all warm at that.  _ Don't be a fucking creep, Jared! He just broke up with Liam!  _ Still, the feeling in his gut spread as Evan locked the door behind them and dropped his backpack by the sofa. "D'you want a soda?" Evan called from the kitchen as Jared plopped down on his couch with a sigh. "Yeah!" Jared shouted back, pulling out his phone. One text from Zoe.  _ How's it going with Evvvv? ;)  _

Jared rolled his eyes, something he did often, before shooting a text back.  _ How's it going with Alana? _

He felt the sofa sink bedside him and immediately shoved his phone into his pocket. Evan handed him a red Mountain Dew, giving him a questioning look but not saying anything. "I don't wanna do homework." Jared groaned, leaning back on the sofa and folding his arms behind his head lazily. He let his eyes fall shut and he propped his feet on the table. After all the drama and the ice cream and stuff, he just wanted to nap.  _ With Evan _ . Evan just smiled at him and giggled a little, unzipping his bag to pull out a pre-cal packet that was due the next day. Jared opened his eyes enough to peak at Evan, sighing when he realized he was actually doing homework. "C'monnn Ev, Let's do something elsssse." He said, yawning. "Uh.... physics?" Evan asked, looking puzzled. "No, I mean.... Let's not do homework. Let's do something fun... Like, watch a movie, or... I don't know. Something." He replied, sitting up, rubbing his eyes. Evan chuckled, before his phone vibrated. Jared sighed, wracking his brain for things to do, as Evan read whatever text he gotten. Evan turned pink as his eyes scanned the screen, typing something back and glancing at Jared, turning pinker when he met his eyes.

"Everything okay?" Jared asked, his stomach felt funny seeing Evan like that.  _ Jared calm the fuck down, he's answering a text!  _ He thought to himself, but he had to look away anyway. 

"What if- Uh, we could just, like, talk. We never just talk. It doesn't have to be about today," Evan winced a little at that, returning his phone to his pocket. "-you can rant about your acorn fetish again- or like, feelings and shit." He said, a hint of humor in his voice. Evan let out a snort of laughter as well, lying back on the sofa next to Jared. "Yeah. Ok. And I don't have an acorn fetish!" He added, smiling with a twinge of embarrassment. Jared grinned back, and returned his feet to the coffee table, leaning next to Evan. He wondered if Evan noticed that their shoulders were touching, because he sure as hell did, and it was making his whole body feel warm. "So." Jared started, after an awkward moment of quiet. "Shoot. Ask me anything you wanna know. I'm an open book." He said. "Uhhh ok.... um.... What's you're guilty pleasure? Like something you do for fun and don't tell people. Like watching tree documentaries." Evan mumbled, fidgeting with the hems of his long sleeves. He still wasn't used to wearing them. "Porn." Jared said with a smirk, and Evan turned even pinker than before. "Jared! That's- not- not- no! I mean like, like something not gross!" He sputtered, and Jared laughed loudly. "Ok, ok. Uhh... I kinda like bath bombs?" Jared said, his laughter fading. Evan smiled at that. "Aww. Jared likes bath bombs." He said in a slightly mocking tone, unusual for him, making it all the more funny. Jared almost shoved him in response, before remembering the events leading up that moment. Instead he just crossed his arms indignantly, turning away from Evan. "Jaaaared. C'mon, don't be like that. I think liking bath bombs is cute." He said, and Jared's heart skipped a beat.  _ He thinks it's cute. He thinks I'm cute.  _ Evan's expression was suddenly flustered, like he hadn't meant to say it either. So he just continued as fast as he could. "Uh-it's- um- your turn. It's your turn."  He stuttered, and Jared relaxed back into the sofa, letting their arms touch. "Ok.... um.... This one's weird, but, When did you.... know you liked guys?" His voice was suddenly awkward, and serious. His heart was still hammering under his t-shirt. "Oh." Evan said softly, meeting Jared's eyes, suddenly aware of every single point of contact between the two. Jared's breath caught in his throat. "Um.. Well... I kissed Zoe. And that was nice." Evan began, his voice still soft. Jared ignored a pang of jealousy. "But, like, kissing boys has been nice too. Really nice." Jared could've sworn Evan looked at his lips right then, but it was too brief to tell. "I don't know. I guess it started with...." His voice trailed off. He didn't want to say Liam's name. He glanced up at Jared, who nodded in understanding. "Yeah. And there've been other guys I've liked, too." He mumbled the last part, staring at his hands.  _ Oh my FUCKING god. He doesn't know what he's doing to me!  _ Jared felt like he might combust. He debated just doing- leaning forward and kissing Evan on the lips, just fucking  _ doing it.  _ But he wasn't positive yet. What if he didn't like him? He couldn't risk it. So, unsure of what to do, he blurted out "uh, That's cool!"

For the third time that day Jared wanted nothing more than to slap himself in the face.  _ Seriously?? 'That's cool!'  _ He thought, and it took everything in him not to hide his face. "Um.. Your turn?" He managed through his reeling thoughts and humiliation. Evan gave him a look that was hard to read. Disappointment with a hint of something Jared couldn't understand. He kept telling himself to  _ stop getting his fucking hopes up. _ It wasn't helping. "Uh... What's something you've never told me before?" Evan asked. In his head, Jared was shouting _ I'm basically fucking in love with you, you dummy! _ but he couldn't seem to gather the courage. Instead, he started to apologize, and while this was not what he really wanted to say, it was something that had been eating at him for years. "I'm really sorry." He began, and Evan looked puzzled. "For the way I treated you all those years before. Making fun of you and shit. I was such an ass, and I still feel bad about it." He said, softer than before, and more genuine. Evan's eyes seemed to melt at that. "Really?" He asked, almost in a whisper now. This moment felt too intimate for regular talking. Usually this would make Jared squirm, but with Evan he didn't give a shit. "So you- you didn't really mean it?" He mumbled, subconsciously leaning closer to Jared. Jared's stomach did another flip. "Not a word." He breathed, pushing his glasses up his face. Suddenly, he knew what he was going to ask. He was on the knife's edge of flirting at this point, and if Evan hadn't been so oblivious he surely would have noticed by then. Jared didn't even care if it ruined things- he couldn't take anymore of this pining and crushing and maybe it was too soon, but whatever. Jared didn't give a fuck anymore. So he took a deep breath. (Evan still had his gaze trained on him, which didn't do anything to help the feeling in his stomach.) "Ok. My turn." He started, and he tried to keep his voice steady. "Who are... the other guys you like. The ones you mentioned before."

Evan stared into his eyes for a second, looking bewildered. And then something seemed to click. Jared assumed it was all adding up for him- the little things, starting last year- the accidental touches and the blushing and secretive texting and everything in-between. Or maybe that was all in Jared's head. Either way, Evan was thinking about something. Jared realized he had forgotten to breathe when the boy in front of him finally opened his mouth to speak, carefully, like he was testing the water.

"Well.... there've been a few, uh... cute guys. But only one th-that I've really liked." He mumbled, and Jared was sure he would explode. Evan was being so  _ Evan _ \- Always hesitating, always anxious, just in case. Jared couldn't do anything to stop him. "Yeah?" He coaxed, noticing the very short distance between their faces and hands and legs and every part of them. It was making his brain go all fuzzy. "Who?" He added with an even softer tone. They were  _ so close. _

Evan leaned in close, so that Jared could feel his breath on his cheeks.

"You." He breathed, before he closed the distance and kissed him on the lips.

and _ Holy Shit. _


	3. Hickeys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. Holy shit.
> 
> Ok, maybe all the songs and poems hadn't been exaggerating, because Jared was one hundred percent sure there were fireworks going off in his chest. I'm kissing Evan fucking Hansen! He wanted to shout and smile and jump out the window all at once, but most of all, he wanted to keep kissing Evan.  
> (In other words: fluffy, cheesy, self indulgent kleinsen.)

 

_ Holy shit. Holy shit. _

Ok, maybe all the songs and poems hadn't been exaggerating, because Jared was one hundred percent sure there were fireworks going off in his chest. _I'm kissing Evan fucking Hansen!_ He wanted to shout and smile and jump out the window all at once, but most of all, he wanted to keep kissing Evan. Evan's lips were soft and careful at first, making his heart pound and his eyes fall shut gently. _He's a good kisser, holy shit._ But he wanted more. He kissed harder, nearly pushing Evan backwards on the sofa, eliciting a shocked squeak from the boy. Jared finally pulled back, a grin spreading across his face as he stared at a flustered, panting, giddy Evan. 

"Y-you liked that?" Evan asked, sounding winded still. Jared laughed out loud. "Evan, of course I fucking  _ liked that _ . I've been wanting to do that for, like, a year!" He almost shouted, his hands on Evan's shoulders. "Hell, I  _ loved _ it, Ev!" He was fucking gleeful. Evan's eyes went wide. "R- really?" He said, and Jared had to squeeze his shoulders tighter just to stop from kissing him again. "Yes!! Evan, I just- I don't- I- You-" He stuttered out, blanking. He couldn't find the words. Jared Kleinman, the loud mouthed, cursing, obnoxious(ly cute, in Evan's opinion) chatterbox didn't know what to say. Evan was still staring at him, wide eyed, before he leaned in, shocking Jared. They were kissing again. This was a whole new set of fireworks, a new warmth spreading through Jared's whole body. He was sure he was burning up at this point, everything in him was melted together in a buzzing, lovesick mess.  _ Who needs words when lips can be used for much more interesting things? _  He eventually pulled away to take another breath. Evan smiled again, crooked and wide, and Jared just _ had _ to push him back against the couch. His mind was completely hazy, because now they were horizontal and he was hovering over Evan, hands roaming just a little farther down each time he pulled up to take a breath. All of the sudden Evan was grinding up against him and Holy Shit, his brain was going haywire. Fucking haywire.

Jared shot up in bed at his alarm the next morning, breathing heavy. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, trying to figure out why he felt so... nice. And then everything come flooding back. The conversation, the whispering, the  _ kissing,  _ -his stomach jumped at that thought- the making out on the sofa... that's about as far as they'd gotten because Heidi had pulled into the driveway. That was probably a good thing. But holy shit, it had been incredible. Too incredible to be real. Suddenly, a horrible thought occurred to him.  _ Was I dreaming? No,  _ He thought, but it seemed all too logical. Evan really couldn't have liked him back, they really wouldn't have- his shoulders deflated. He finally reached over to slam the off button on his alarm, rolling to the side of his bed and stumbling into the bathroom defeatedly. He blindly reached for his glasses beside the sink, before splashing some water on his cheeks and then putting them on. He glanced briefly at his reflection, vaguely registering bedhead and something on his neck. He turned away before doing a double take. Jared returned to the mirror, leaning in and rubbing his eyes.  _ Holy shit. _

He had a hickey. A nice, colorful hickey just below his collarbone.  _ It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream.  _ He practically jumped up and down.  _ Evan likes me! Evan Hansen fucking likes me!  _

When he arrived at school, Jared couldn't help but scan the crowd. No Evan. He sighed, pulling some books from his locker, and trying to focus on what he was doing, but he kept fumbling and dropping things. He didn't even notice when someone tapped his shoulder. "Earth to Jared!" a voice came from behind him, and he whipped around, coming face to face with Alana. "Oh. Hi. Sorry." he said, trying not sound as dazed as he felt. "Uh, hi. Everything ok?" She asked, brows furrowed. "Yeah. Yes. Everything is fine." He said, and he wanted to add  _ more than fine  _ but he didn't. "...Okay." She said, sounding unconvinced. "Well, let's go." It took Jared a moment to realize she meant go to class. Right. They did this every Friday, because that was when their first periods lined up. He looked up and realized she was already walking. He scrambled to catch up. 

He thought about telling her- he was so excited he could hardly function- but he realized Evan might not like that. He might now want anyone to know. He was such a private person. So Jared kept his mouth shut, a very rare thing for him.

When lunch  _ finally _ rolled around, Jared was still giddy. Most of his classes had been spent thinking about Evan, his hair, his hands, and about kissing him again. He couldn't help it. Evan was just so  _ cute.  _

He sat with Alana, listening to her ramble about physics and about how Zoe didn't let her study last night and how Liam was so awful other things he probably should have listened to but didn't. He looked up at her when she paused for a moment. She was staring at him. "Jared, seriously. Is everything alright? You're so quiet." Jared was silent for a moment after she said this, trying to think of a response. He couldn't tell her about Evan. He didn't know what to do. She was still gazing at him expectantly, before another emotion Jared couldn't read flooded her face. "Is this about....Yesterday?" She asked hesitantly. Jared was about to respond when Connor Murphy appeared behind Alana, as well as Zoe. And Evan. Jared's breath caught in his throat as he met Evan's eyes. Time seemed to freeze a little. They both stared for a moment before Evan looked down and Jared turned away, coughing awkwardly. The moment was over.  _ What if he regrets it?  _ "Connor, aren't you supposed to be in class right now?" Alana asked, and Jared was thankful nobody had noticed the energy between him and Evan. Zoe sat across from him as Connor replied. "Maybe. Who cares." Alana scoffed in response, scooting  to make room for Evan, who, thank god, had decided to sit next to Jared. Zoe, Alana, and Connor started talking, and just like before, Jared didn't listen. It wasn't like he was intentionally tuning them out or anything, but having Evan's knee pressed against his was very  _ very  _ distracting. He felt a little dizzy, and evidently Evan must have too because neither of them had said a thing for most of lunch. Jared was just thinking how grateful he was that no one else had mentioned it when Zoe started asking a question. "Evan, is that a hickey?" 

_ Uh oh. _

He felt Evan tense beside him, and watched as his cheeks flushed a little. "Uh, n- n- um.." He squeaked out, and Jared remembered how bad of a liar he was. Evan took a deep breath, trying to speak. He was so flustered. "Yeah." He said quietly, and Zoe's eyes went wide. Connor laughed and Alana's jaw dropped. Jared suppressed a proud grin, he didn't want to embarrass Evan any more than he already had. Zoe's shocked expression melted quickly into a devious smile as she glanced between Evan and Jared. Evan was extremely flustered, staring at his lap. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Did you and Jared hook up?" She asked, and Evan turned redder. "N- no! We just, like... made out. It's not a big deal." He practically whispered, his tone nervous.  _ Actually, Zoe, it is the biggest fucking deal of my life!  _ Jared thought, but he still kept his mouth shut. "Oh, exciting. Who initiated? Does Jared have hickeys too? Did you guys-" Connor grilled, and Evan buried his face in Jared's shoulder in embarrassment. Jared laughed along with the others, but his heart pounded in his chest at the feeling of Evan. He grinned sheepishly as they kept asking questions,  answering some, his body feeling warm because Evan's head still rested on his shoulder. 

"That's great! So are you two, like, together now?" Alana asked, reaching to snag the clementine from Zoe's lunchbox. (Zoe hated clementines, she just told her mom to pack them so she could give them to Alana every day.) Evan sat up, opening his mouth to answer, but he never got the chance to because Liam had entered the cafeteria. Evan spotted him first, causing him to visibly shrink in on himself, eyes trained on the red letterman jacket. Jared noticed and followed Evan's panicked stare, his heart dropping as he recognized Liam. He was pulled out of whatever euphoria he was in, remembering yesterday's events and the reason Evan was still wearing long sleeves. He reached hesitantly for Evan's hand beneath the table, and was glad to feel a clammy hand holding his own tightly moments later. Jared gave him a squeeze, not looking away from Liam and his stupid jock friends. Eventually, Liam glanced in their direction, staring fiercely at Jared before directing his glare to Evan. Evan seemed to want to disappear at that, as he dropped his eyes and stared intently at their interlocked fingers at his side. Jared noticed this and brought them to his lap, placing his other hand over their clasped ones. A cheesy gesture, sure, but Evan's anxiety melted just a little because of it. Jared looked back and Liam had turned away, moving on. He exhaled, and Evan remembered to breath as well. Jared glanced at the others to see if they had noticed Liam. Connor was muttering under his breath, Zoe was frowning, and Alana looked extremely pissed. "I really fucking hate that guy." Zoe muttered, running a hand through her hair. Connor sighed in agreement and Alana nodded. Evan didn't let go of Jared's hand. 

The two were standing at Jared's locker before the last class of the week, the hall bustling around them. They hadn't gotten alone time since the night before, and Jared was dying to just talk to him. "You can sleep over." Evan blurted, before backpedaling, flustered. "I- I mean, like, only if you want to you don't have to if you-" "Evan, I'd love to." Jared interrupted his rambling, a hint of a chuckle in his voice. "Oh. Okay. Cool. Yeah." Evan said, and Jared shut his locker before turning to go to his next class. "Can't wait!" He called out over his shoulder, and was pleased to see Evan blushing again when he glanced back. 

When the day finally ended, it took what felt like forever to finally shed the crowd and spot Evan. He was waiting outside the school by a bench, looking anxious. Relief and excitement flooded Jared's body as he approached the boy, but it was soon replaced by concern. Evan wasn't just his usual anxious- he looked super panicked. When they locked eyes, however, his expression melted into a timid smile that made Jared's heart swell. When he arrived at Evan's side, they started walking. It was a moment before Jared spoke. "Ev, what's wrong?" he asked tentatively, letting his hand inch closer to Evan's. As soon as they were out of sight of the school, Evan grabbed it, interlocking their fingers tightly. Jared couldn't help but notice how sweaty he was. Evan finally opened his mouth to speak. "Liam came up to me. He started.... talking. And then yelling. I don't know, I really shouldn't be so scared but it's just that-" Jared was mad, but he just nodded as Evan rambled on about Liam, letting him finish before he spoke, partially because he wasn't really sure how to go about responding. "Uh, it's- it's ok to be scared of him. Did he hurt you at all, like, physically this time?" Jared said, as gently as he could say it. Evan didn't flinch, so that was progress. "No." Evan said, and Jared nodded. He hated that Liam just kept coming back, he wanted him to leave so he couldn't ruin anything else. He fucking  _ hated  _ Liam but that wasn't going to do him any good right now. "Hey. Evan. He doesn't matter. We've still got all night and we can't let some asswipe ruin it." Jared said, smiling at Evan as they walked. Evan hadn't dropped his hand yet, so that was a good sign. Evan turned back to him, the hopeful look on his face giving Jared butterflies. "Yeah." He breathed, before turning a little pink and returning his gaze to the sidewalk in front of them. 

By the time they arrived at Evan's, Jared had overthought just about every possible scenario for the night that he could. He was sure Evan could feel how sweaty his hand had gotten, so it was almost a relief when he had to drop it to unlock the door. Jared stole a glance at the sofa as he walked in, and his chest felt warm just thinking about the previous afternoon. He followed Evan up to his room, dropping his backpack on the floor before flopping down on the bed, Evan following suit. Jared stared at the ceiling. 

"Hi." He said suddenly, and Evan giggled a little. Jared wanted to hear that again. "Hi?" Evan said in return, turning with a grin to look at Jared. Everything else seemed to melt away but the two of them on that bed. "So. Last night." Jared began, and Evan looked down, suddenly anxious again. "Do you.... did you..." Jared hadn't expected this talk to be so awkward. He took a deep breath before resuming his efforts to ask a question he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. "Do you regret it? Because, like, if you do than we can just-" "Shut up Jared." Evan said, smiling once again.  _ Thank fucking god.  _ "I don't. I actually..." He blushed, glancing at his hands. "I actually wanna do it again. If that's ok." Warmth flooded his body at that, and he sat up, grinning like an idiot. Evan sat up too, and everything felt like slow motion because Jared's hand was on the back of Evan's neck, pulling him in. It was only a day since the last kiss, but it felt like the anticipation had been building up all year.  Every part of Jared was hot again, every part of him just wanted to kiss Evan Hansen. So he didn't even try to hesitate this time. The kiss was sloppy and hard, glasses bumping Evan's nose, each one just wanting to be closer to the other. Evan pulled away for a moment, smiling briefly and innocently at Jared before leaning in again quickly, quite nearly knocking Jared over. Jared felt a hand lace into his hair and he smiled hard against Evan's lips, chuckling under his breath. He relished in the way Evan shivered at that, before connecting their lips once again. He couldn't get enough. 

"Y'know..." Jared panted after another couple minutes of kissing. "You look great in long sleeves. You really do." He inched his hands towards the hem of Evan's t-shirt. "But you'd look pretty fantastic  _ without _ them." He watched as Evan buried his face in his hands but nodded at Jared to continue. Jared tried to make his hands stop shaking. He wasn't sure if it was excitement, nerves, or the intimacy of it all. Either way, his shaking hands didn't steady as he pulled at the hem of the shirt, and touching Evan's skin wasn't helping in the slightest. It felt like electricity was buzzing in his fingers. 

Evan's shirt was halfway up his body when they both heard the door unlock and swing open downstairs. Jared sighed and pulled Evan's shirt back down, wanting to continue but also being grateful that Heidi had arrived when she did. It was for the better overall, even if Jared was stuck with a half boner for a while. This was all happening so fast, probably too fast for Evan. He glanced at Evan's face to check, and felt a pang of pride in seeing that he looked equally disappointed, if not more so. They scooted away from each other, straightening their clothing and hair, in case Heidi decided to make a surprise entrance. Evan tugged his shirt up to hide the hickeys from the evening before, causing another swell of pride in Jared's chest.  _ I did that. _ The quiet that fell over them after that felt too tense for his liking, so Jared, being the awkward boy that he was, blurted out the first things that came to his mind. 

"Do you remember what Alana asked today?" He regretted it as soon as he said it, but he didn't take it back. Evan just blinked at him, puzzled, before understanding flooded his face and then he was flustered yet again. "About, um.... Being... together?" He said quietly, looking up at Jared anxiously with big brown eyes. Jared's breath caught in his throat at that look, and it took him a minute to choke an answer out. "Uh- Yeah. Yes. How do you... feel about that?" He almost cringed at his own words.  _ Why the fuck am I so awkward? _ "I mean, like, we don't have to be  _ together  _ or anything. But we could go out. Maybe. Only if you wanted to." He didn't want to push his luck, but he was inwardly begging for Evan to say yes. His heart sunk as Evan didn't answer for a moment, wearing a hard to read expression that panicked Jared. Evan finally opened his mouth to speak and Jared prepared himself for rejection.

"Please? Jared, I- I really really want to go out with you. If it's ok." 

Jared practically jumped into the air for the second time that day.  _ Evan fucking Hansen wants to go out with me!  _ He nodded fast and couldn't help but kiss Evan again, hands gripping both sides of his face, hard and fast before pulling away with a sheepish grin. Evan, looking bewildered for a moment, finally offered a timid smile in return, and Jared knew in that instant that he was gone. So far gone.

The evening was soft- they sat on the steps in the warm air and talked, talked about everything and anything they could think of, in a way they'd never talked before. Jared learned all about Evan's anxiety- he learned that he was taking meds, he learned what his panic attacks felt like, and that he was supposed to be writing himself letters but he never did. Evan learned about how scared Jared was, about how much Jared hated his glasses, (Evan disagreed on this, he told Jared they were 'pretty cool'. Jared didn't know it but he really wanted to say adorable. Or maybe hot.) And he learned that Jared's parents were fighting more and more. They kept their hands close but never touching, just in case Evan's mom looked out the window. They sat in a comfortable silence after the sun went all the way down and the air started getting chilly, just wanting a few more minutes before they went inside. Jared even wrapped an arm around Evan's shoulders awkwardly for just a second, but the gesture made Evan smile and blush. Jared, of course, felt like the sappiest boy alive but if it made Evan happy then he didn't mind one bit. Plus, it was nice to pull Evan closer and watch him get flustered again and again. It was really, really nice. 

Finally, around midnight, long after Heidi had fallen asleep, the boys trudged up the stairs quietly, shutting Evan's door with a click. They took turns changing in the bathroom, and Jared couldn't stop the heat that rose in his cheeks when Evan came out in pajama shorts and a t-shirt. He turned away quickly and walked to the closet, scanning for the blanket that he always slept with on the floor when he stayed over. Just as he reached for it, a small voice came from behind him. "Uh, Jared?" He turned around to find Evan, looking small and still flustered, standing by the bed. "I was thinking, if you wanted to, you could sleep..." He gestured to his own bed, his voice was barely a mumble. "With me."  _ Holy shit!  _ Jared grinned at that, nodding in approval, earning a relieved exhale and an equally sleepy, giddy grin in return. Jared switched off the overhead lights and took off his glasses as he walked to the bed, sighing in relief at the feel of the mattress. The day had been an emotional rollercoaster, exhausting him in many ways. He heard a click and watched the room go dark as Evan turned off his lamp, his chest erupting in butterflies as he felt the bed sink beside him. He nearly squeaked himself as Evan suddenly snuggled against him. Of course, Evan immediately got embarrassed and tried to scoot away, but Jared wrapped his arms around Evan's shoulders before he could. Evan finally relaxed into Jared's body, scooting in again and eventually tucking his head under Jared's chin, and Jared smiled in the dark. His whole body felt warm and absolutely lovely, and Jared could feel every place they were pressed close together, their legs tangled. He even got the guts to lean down and quickly leave a peck on the top of Evan's head, chucking under his breath at the little noise Evan made. Jared smiled even wider, high on the smell of Evan, how soft and how  _ close _ he was. 

“G’night, Jared.” 

“Night, Ev.”

Jared didn't care if he was the sappiest, cheesiest, most foolish boy in the universe. This had to be the best feeling in the world, the best night of his life, the best thing ever- warm and dreamy and buzzing and lovely and  _ Evan _ .

They fell asleep like that, tangled in each others bodies and thoughts, clinging to each other tightly, never _ever_ planning to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I really hope you enjoyed this. I feel like this ending is kinda shitty but hey, I did what I could.  
> love you all!  
> xxx


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